What's In a Name...

These are a few names I've had come through my hotel, they are all real (we check drivers licenses, or passports to make sure you are who you say you are) and as always a few stories of life as a Hotel Manager.

Richard Burns, Johan Assman (for any of you Seinfeld fans out there), Margaret Glasscock, William Williams, Miss Suk ma Tong, Snow White, John Crapp, Mama Bling Bling, Dick Gozinya, Mr Gasman, Mr Anus, Dick Rash,Harry Johnson, Mry Gay Valentino, Mr. & Mrs. Peter La Fuck, Diffendaffer, Titsworth, DeKok, Truphuk, Baldassar, Cristobal Colón, Tun Can, Mr Michael Allcock, Purdy Outhouse,  Vokahard Fuches, Boobphakem, Ms.Rice-Crisp, Mr Snowball, Mr yu hoo, Mr Kunt,
Mr Cockburn, Jack Mioff, Kinki Nippon Tourist Company, Ms. Hooker, Rob Goldenrodd, Harry Beans, Lawanda Cummings, Mr. Montoto, Mr and Mrs Wannker, Fang Wang, Miss Chui Chew, i remember mr. Kunto whom pronounced his name as Cunt, Oh!, i also had to check in Mr. Zit, and then the Lamers family, Mr. Shuhei Tanaguchi, Mr. Pet Agent (Yes i checked ID...), Captain Speaking, Warren Pease, Mi Long Kok, Robin Hood (actual name), Anita Bath, Micheal Hungmunch, Mr. Drinkwater, Chira Porn Fukk, Young Do Woo, Then we had a few guests from an airline crew whose surnames included: Parrot, Carrot, Hemberger, Fish, Boulanger (baker in French), Jambon (ham in French), Poisson (fish in french, not the same guest whose last name was Fish), Harry Dick, Harry Chiapetta, Peter Outhouse, Bumsuk Soukaphong, Roger Jolly - on PC as Jolly, Roger, Hans Fingerman, Mr Looneys, mr. Cockburn, Ken Kong, Barbara Assmann, Mr. Prycke, Richard Dick, Mr Douche, Yaakov Lipschitz, Harry Bawls (He came up to the front desk and asked him he was checking in and said yes my last name pronounced Bales), Willy Wong, Mr Slotbottom, Dick Badcock, Kermit Eck, Mary Garlick Roll - Yes and it even said it on her credit card, her parents must have a food fetish or something, Larry Derry Perry, Mr. States, Harry Ball, Peter Leotardi, mr. Tutuhatawena, Richard Head...they called their son Dick Head, Count and Countess Turdo, Dick Short, Mr. G . Raff, Mr. Vhati Kakki, Dick Long, Ms Drinkwater, Mr Ramsbottom, Julien Condom, Patrick Hiscock, Zhang Zhang Zhong, Chelsea Kummer, Mr. & Mrs. Heiman, Richard (Dick) Cram, Mr. Pooh, Mr. Dick Fook, Mr Knob, the Labia family, Caress Cox
Gang Huang, Dr De'ath, Sarah Wankman (pron. 'Vonk-men), Mr & Mrs Rob & Robyn Robb, Mr Sukakoqi pronounced (suck a cocki), Mrs. Sookja Kuk, Mrs. Ilyasook Ki,

 Mr Richard Clitheroe, receptionist pronounced it clit hero
Mr Yoshi Fukutu, yep pronounced fuck you too
Wullie Dick I kid you not and he was Scottish

once checked in a Dr. Butts which in and of itself was funny enough but he was attending a Colon and Rectal convention. I simply had to make a copy of that confirmation letter!!

Cheryl Pinkus married George Wacker and became Cheryl Pinkus Wacker

Kerry Terry married Fred Perry and became Kerry Terry Perry

Andy (short for Andrea) Maxwell married Jim House and became Andy Maxwell House

We had a Fraternal Convention at the hotel and the higher ups with the group are refered to as Master the main guy in charge was named Master Bator

Clad Cock- it was on his credit card- I thought it was a typo and that his name would turn out to be Vlad or something. He and his wife were quite ordinary, somewhat disappointingly so.

We had a Mr. Spitz and a Mr. Swallow in house the same night. Mr. Swallow was kind of a regular and he liked to check in by saying "Swallow! It's not a command!"

had a ms. flower marry a mr. plant

And there was once a bride whose first name was Crystal, her married name would have been Ball. She kept her maiden name

The Giant/Dick wedding.

And my all time favourite true name story. About 10.30 one night a girl came to the reception desk and asked how to get to the 7th floor, Ewa the receptionist pointed out the way to the elevators whilst the porters stood around with cheesy grins on their faces. Yep it was a prostitute and so we checked the guest list to see if we could figure out who had called for her to find a guest called Dick Goodhead. I hasten to add this guy was not the one who ordered the in room entertainment and became a regular visitor.

Hope you Laughed!

-Charlotte

Autumn's Tasty Tuesdays

Autumn over at Living Out Loud has started a great new thing for us on Tuesdays called Tasty Tuesdays. It’s a great way to find new recipes to use and share some of our own!

Below is my favorite recipe for brownies (and who doesn’t like homemade brownies?) These brownies melt in your mouth and are perfectly moist!

The Best Brownies EVER

INGREDIENTS

· 1/2 cup and 2 tablespoons margarine, softened

· 2 cups white sugar

· 4 eggs

· 1/4 cup Hershey's chocolate sauce (any brand will do, but we prefer Hershey’s)

· 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or for an elegant twist use raspberry extract instead!)

· 2 cups all-purpose flour

· 1/2 cup and 2 tablespoons cocoa powder

· 1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

· 1/2 teaspoon salt

• Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease a 15x10 inch baking pan.
• Combine the margarine and the sugar in a large mixing bowl; use an electric mixer to beat until light. Beat in the eggs, chocolate sauce and vanilla; mix well. Whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, walnuts, and salt in a large bowl. Stir the flour mixture into the egg mixture, mixing just until dry ingredients are incorporated. Spoon batter into prepared pan.
• Bake brownies in the preheated oven until the edges begin to pull away from the sides of the pan, 40 to 45 minutes.
• Pour a nice cold glass of milk and enjoy!!

I don’t like nuts so I never add them but some of you might (which is why I put them on here just in case). Thanks Autumn for this great idea! I cant wait to see what everyone else has to offer too!

Don't you love the working class?! :)

One afternoon Suzie was working at the Front desk, when along comes one of her regular guests, Mr. Smith

"Good Afternoon, Mr. Smith, Welcome back!"
"Thanks Suzie. Good to be back"
"Here are the key's for your room, please sign the registration card, we have you in your regular suite."
"Hey, thanks for always looking out for me Suzie."
"No problem, Mr. Smith.
"HA HA you should name that suite after me, oh by the way can you leave a key for my secretary?"
"No problem, Mr. Smith."

So Mr. Smith disappears down the hall toward the elevator.

About 15 minutes later a very scandalously dress woman enters the lobby wearing a pair of cut off jean shorts with a neon pink tube top that barely fits her. Her two-toned hair is half pulled up in a pony tail. Her make-up is just as brightly colored as her tube top. She approaches the front desk with her spiky platinum high heels on clicking and clonking over the wooden floor, cracking her gum.

Suzie takes a deep breath and exhales to avoid laughing out loud at the sight before her.

"I'm Mary-Sue, Mr. Smith's secretary. I believe he left a key for me?"
"Oh yes ma'am here you go, its room 5281. You go..."
"I know how to get to the room, just give me the keys; I have other appointments to keep today, and you're throwing off my scheduale."

So about an hour to an hour and a half later, Suzie notices Mr. Smith leaving with his little travel toiletries bag out the side door with his hair all slicked back with gel. While his so called secretary leaves out the front door, about 15 minutes laterwith her hair all pulled up in a slopp bun/pony tail. As she is leaving she stops at the mirror in the lobby where ALL the guests can see her, fixes her tube top, and re applies her bright neon pink lip stick.

The next morning the housekeeping manager comes by the front desk to talk to Suzie.

"Hey Suzie", Says Linda
"Hey Linda, how are you?"
"Fine, uhhh hey listen, something ODD happened yesterday afteroon in the pool."
"Oh what happened?"
"Someone used the ladies shower, and left a few things in there."
"What's so ODD about that?"
"Well there was a USED refresh bottle in there and an empty box for toothpaste in the waste bin."

"Oh gross! I guess Mr. Smith's secretary wanted to clean up before she moved on to her next appointment"

Suzie looks at Linda and says:
"You've gotta love the working class......"

Welcome

Hello to one and all! Thanks for following this newbie on her quest to make others laugh and cry.

I have been in the hotel business for a WHILE now, and have had the pleasure of meetins some wild and crazy people! I love the hotel business. you never know what's going to happen at the drop of a hat. One minute it's all cool and then BAM! All hell breaks loose. Love that. Love the unexpected surprise.

Ok well in this bog you can expect funny, unbelieveable, and some not so nice stories of hotel experiences.

Of courese names will be removed, for privacy. Please feel free to comment any stories that you know of have heard of!